Keeping your cool in the workplace
It’s not wrong to feel angry and there are certain situations where anger is healthy - in fact, lack of anger can be unhealthy. However, when we express it impulsively and in dysfunctional ways, this serves no one. Emotional outbursts frequently lead to embarrassment and regret, with a long-lasting negative impact on both you, your coworkers and your relationships. In moments where you inevitably find yourself in times of stress, conflict or feeling disrespected in the workplace, it is possible to express your anger and channel the emotions more productively.
Where anger stems from
Anger is often used as a defence mechanism against vulnerability; we would rather get angry than admit our feelings of vulnerability. But vulnerability is an important trait to honour and we shouldn’t mask it (this extends beyond the workplace). These emotional states are also coping mechanisms for when we feel disrespected by colleagues or in an unsafe work environment. Our early memories of anger can influence how it plays out in our adult life, but anger is also a product of twenty-first century living; feelings of insecurity and increased worry from modern society, tight deadlines and burnout, can fuel anger from high levels of stress, anxiety and depression. Trying to control anger by ignoring it becomes a habit that can make you unwell over time. On the contrary, impulsive anger undermines you because you have no control over it. With impulsiveness you don’t have time to think - it’s your automatic default.
Shadow work
With so many personalities in one setting, the workplace can conjure up different feelings and emotions for individuals. Sometimes you might find yourself (or witness coworkers) reacting in ways that seem out of character. According to psychologist Carl Jung, this might have something to do with our “shadow self”. He defined the shadow as the qualities or parts of our personality that we repress or deny, including but not limited to anger. Jung believed that in order to navigate these emotions, we must face and accept our shadow for personal growth through the process of “shadow work”. Shadow work is the practice of becoming aware of your unconscious shadow and integrating these neglected qualities within yourself in order to become whole. It’s a process of building self-awareness, self-acceptance and universal love.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung
Anger is an emotion that shouldn’t be ignored in your daily life or work life. Instead of reacting, and letting it take over, or restraining expressions of anger to seem more polite, you can have a healthy outlet and manage anger in positive ways. Identity the emotion and transform it. View this anger as an independent energy inside your body. When you feel this energy, you can train yourself to make a decision on how you can work with it and decide how to express it. It’s an emotional quality that’s a part of who we are and needs to be expressed - it’s your shadow.
5 tips to manage anger in the workplace:
Think
When you’re alone, take a few moments to think about a colleague or work project you are annoyed at. Close your eyes and imagine all the things you want to say or do. Don’t hold back or feel ashamed of what comes to mind. By acknowledging that these angry qualities are a part of who you are without judgement, you build self-awareness.
Breathe
Feel into the emotion of anger through meditation and breathwork. Breathe in slowly to the count of 6 and breathe out forcefully to the count of 2. Feel into the anger, allow it to build and exhale it out with force. Try this 10 times and repeat frequently to help you cope with situations.
Imagine
If you can feel conflict with a coworker or boss arising, imagine someone or something that loves you and protects you. Connect to that energy and emotion and feel it with you as you enter the meeting.
Write it
But don’t send it! If you’ve had workplace confrontation, write down all the things that you wanted to say in the moment but couldn’t. It can help you release those negative feelings and come to terms with the moment of conflict.
Cool off
Distance yourself from a situation by taking five (or a bit more). Get fresh air by going for a walk and if you work from home take yourself on a run or simply turn on some music and dance. Imagine that anger is moving through your body and out of your feet, stomp it into the ground and release it through deep exhalations.